Spider-Man! (Japanese)

       I know this has almost nothing to do with the subject of b-movies, with the exception of how cheesy and silly they are, but I thought I would share some Japanese television goodness with you guys. This is the first 2 episodes of the Japanese Spider-Man T.V. series. Enjoy!

Episode 1. Part 1.



Episode 1. Part 2.



Episode 2. Part 1.



Episode 2. Part 2.



I hope you guys enjoy. Aren't they just awesome?

Love,
The B-Movie Guy.

Twitter: @BMovieguy #bmovieblog #japanesespiderman

Invasion Of The Bee Girls (Bug Spray Won't Save Us)

           Score: 7 Out Of 10

         Hello, this week I'm focusing my attention on a piece of real 70's sci-fi awesomeness... Kinda. "Invasion Of The Bee Girls" (I wonder if it's possible to get a bunch of girls to dress as old bad movie stars who call themselves the B-Girls to follow me around) was released in 1973 and stars William Smith, Anitra Ford and Victoria Vetri. It was directed by Denis Sanders. The plot is pretty simples, One girl is some how turned into a girl with some bee genes in her (this just gives her really big pupils and a uncontrolable urge to mate and kill) and she somehow builds a machine to transform other girls who mate and kill uncontrolably. It's not long before men start dying during intercourse and bodies start popping up all over town. By the way, the 'hows' and 'whys' are never fully explained. The characters just keep hinting at various explenations.

              I am a man. A man who watches bad movies. I argue all the time that bad special effects and sub-par acting should be ignored as long as there is a good story bee-hind it all (Ha, see what I did there!), but this film doesn't even have the good story to back it up. What this movie does have is so much nudity it's almost rediculous. I'm not kidding. There are two nude scenes with in the first fifteen minutes of the movie. There are a pair of boobs in almost every other scene. Now that doesn't make for a good movie mind you, but I have to admit that the over abundance of boobies coupled with a silly plot does make for a pretty entertaing ninety minutes. I'm not going on record and say it's an amazing film, but for what it is it's not that bad.

     Love,
       The B-Movie Guy.

Twitter: @BMovieguy     #Bmovieblog   #Invasionofthebeegirls

P.S.

       I always find it odd how some of the older horror and sci-fi film have this odd kind of sexuality behind tham. Alot of them feature monsters falling in love with or lusting after attractive and helpless women. While I was watching the movie my mind kept flashing back to that concept. I just thought it was interesting to note that this time around it was female monsters taking advantage of men who display helplessness in the sense of letting lust get the better of them. Interesting.

ThanksKilling (Happy Thanksgiving!)

Score: 2 Out Of 10

               Allow me to set the scene for you. It's early in the seventeenth century, a woman in pilgrim garb who looks to be in her late thirties or early forties is running through the woods with her breasts exposed. Actually the movie starts with a tight shot of her nipple. Something that apparently sees everything in shades of purple is chasing her. Eventually she trips and falls boobs first in the dirt and is murdered by a fowl (get it... bird joke!) mouthed turkie wielding an axe. That is the best scene of the movie. The rest is pretty much down hill from here.

                ThanksKilling was released in 2009 and stars Natash Cordova, Lindsey Anderson and Lance Predmore. It was directed by Jordan Downey (for those curious, Mr. Downey is in the process of filming a sequal to this film. It will most likely appear on this blog in 2012). I"mnot even gonna try and sell you on this one. It sucks. I'm used to seeing bad writing, directing, effects and acting, but with alot of other films in this genre, you can tell that the people who made it really had heart and were really trying to make a good movie. This on the other hand, has no heart and no soul. It feels like the people who made this movie made it just because they had nothing better to do. The acting is so bad it's almost as if the actors aren't even really trying. No joke the best performance comes from M.I.L.F. porn star Wanda Lust (she's the pilgrim with the boobs).

             The other thing that bothers me about this film is it's supposed to be a comedy but it's just not funny... at all. Seriously, how many bird puns can you make in a film that's only sixty-some-odd minutes long. I'm gonna have to advise you to stay away from this one. It's just not worth the time you'll spend watching and then trying to forget it.

        Love,
          The B-Movie Guy.

Twitter.com @BMovieguy  #Bmovieblog  #ThanksKilling

Female Prisoner 701 Scorpion: Grudge Song (Part 3 of 3)

Score: 5 Out Of 10

                This is part three of a three part series, so like I said in the second part, if you have not seen the first two (we skipped the film in the series because it was made clear to me by more than a few people that it just wasn't worth watching and you could watch the third without missing any of the plot) you might not want to read this because there will be spoilers...

                 So by comparison to the first two movie I watched from this series, this one is actually kind of a let down. The film opens with our main character, Nami (Once again very well portrayed by Meiko Kaji), once again out of prison and attempting to evade authorities. This is a plot hole. (Spoiler) The last movie ended with her intentionally going back to prison so she could torture an evil pimp who held her friend captive. So how the hell did she get out? I also noticed while watching that the overall style of the film seemed to be some what diminished. It was a lot less colorful and a lot of the cool dialogue seems to have gone missing entirely. It's my theory that the overall problem with this film is Yasuharu Hasebe taking over as director.

               

                Another problem here is that the film is trying to put forth a message of anti-authority and the horrors of capital punishment. Unfortunately the message is lost in scenes that are needlessly violent and characters who seem to make erratic decisions. At one point I found myself asking, "Why are they raping her?" "Why did I need to see that?" I'm not going to go on a lecture here about how there is too much violence, nudity or sexuality in films, I'm just saying that it all needs to have purpose. If it does not serve the plot, it does not need to be there.

                    In closing, I won't say that this film was bad, it just wasn't good enough. Unfortunately I can't even tell you to watch it as a stand alone, because then you'll just spend an hour and a half with a lot of unanswered questions. Watch the first and third (the second is terrible, remember?) and if you still feel like you need closure then watch it. If not, just be happy with the last films ending and pretend this one doesn't exist. It's like the Rocky V of Japanese women in prison films.

      Love,

          The B-Movie Guy

#Bmovieblog #Femaleprisoner701

Female Prisoner Scorpion: Beast Stable (Part 2 of 3)

Score: 8 Out Of 10

           So let me say this right off the bat, the film featured on this weeks blog is a sequel to last weeks entry (true, there is one film between the two, but this one is far superior to that sequel and picks right up where the first film left off. By skipping the second film, you're not missing anything. I promise). By reading this you will know the ending to the first film. This is the official "Spoiler Alert." If you read any further it will ruin the ending to Female Prisoner #701: Scorpion. She kills the guy who set her up and his whole crew after she escapes from prison. Told you so.
          Wow. This is a really good follow up. I have to admit I'm kinda jaded when it comes to sequels. Lets face it, we live in a society where a second and/or third film normally means ninety minutes of actors and actresses not returning, directors not returning, bad plots and movies made quick and cheep just to cash in on the success of the original. Director Shunya Ito clearly has his shit together. The first thing he does right is bring back Meiko Kaji as Nami Matsushima (Scorpion). No joke, she plays this role so well, if I ever run into her in person I'm going to turn around and walk away out of fear for my life.
             The story follows our main character, Nami, as she is now out of prison and trying to evade authorities (she doesn't help that cause by spending the duration of the opening credits running through Tokyo waving a severed arm around). Not long into the movie she befriends a down-and-out prostitute and soon attempts to liberate her from her pimps. Despite the films plot (and the previously mentioned severed arm waving), this one is actually a bit slower than the first. There is some graphic violence (I don't want to give to much away, but there's a pretty nasty scene with a golf club and I'm wondering if writer, Hiro Matsuda, has something against pregnant women), but is few and far between. There is also not a lot of nudity when you compare it to the first as well. The main focus here seemed to be character building and giving the audience a bit more of an idea as to what makes Nami tick.
           Overall, I have to say this is a pretty great follow up. Meiko Kaji turns in a great performance despite the fact that her character is silent through most of the film. The plot also serves the first film well while leaving out enough details to still be enjoyable if you haven't seen the first. The only question left is how good will a third film be?



Did you see the arm in the trailer? Awesome, right?

Love,
   The B-Movie Guy
#Bmovieblog  #Femaleprisoner701

Female Prisoner #701: Scorpion (Part 1 of 3)

Score: 9 Out Of 10

           
         Holy Japanese-women-in-prison-films was this film ever awesome! No joke, I have run the complete gamut of emotions with in the last hour and a half. First I was laughing, then I was mad as hell, then I was almost crying and then i was... well... you know... Anyway. I must say this film really impressed me. I am no stranger to women's prison films (ex: "Caged Heat(1974)" and "Women In Cell Block 7(1974)"), but this one is different! It was directed by Shunya Ito, and it stars Meiko Kaji, Rie Yokoyama and Isao Natsuyagi. It was released (in Japan) in 1972. The plot of the film is a woman is tricked by her police officer boyfriend and sent in undercover on a drug bust which leads to her brutal rape. Later she attempts to kill her now exboyfriend in an act of revenge and is sent to prison for her troubles where she tries to escape and later is mixed up in a hostage situation.
            I'm not going to lie to you guys, alot of the classic exploitation elements are here. There is alot of female nudity (some male nudity, but no penis... sorry girls) through out the film and plenty over the top violence. What sets this film apart from others in the genre is the fact that the story and the action os all prtrayed very tastefully and the film over all is very emotionally driven. it did not feel at all like the movie was an excuse to get a bunch of hot (and some of them were pretty hot!) japanese girls to parade around naked, there was very good stroy to tie it all together. A story so good that I've already to dedicated the next to blog posts to the films two sequals. There were however some unintentional laughs. Mainly from feighned hits between characters. More than a few times, one character would strike another, clearly missing by about a half a foot, and the character on the receiving end would over react. But all in all, I didn't feel that hindered the film at all. Lets hope the sequals are as good!



Love,
   The B-Movie Guy.

#Bmovieblog  #Femaleprisoner701

Retardead (A Fail On Every Level)

Score: 1 Out Of 10         

     

                I don't even know where to begin with what is wrong with this film.  Have you ever sat through a movie to see the main characters make a stupid pun at the end just before the credits role and wonder if the entire film was written just for that one pun? That pretty much sums up how I feel right now. For a film that runs a little more than an hour and a half, the best part is when they make the lame joke at the end (well, that and when the credits finally came). "Retardead (after having viewed the film I realize now just how appropriate that title is)" was written, directed, produced and stars Rick Popko and Dan West. It also features Tony Adams and Michael Allen. All of the people mentioned should feel ashamed.

             

               The movie opens with some fake trailers (A la "Grindhouse"), then flows into a film that is supposed to be a sequel to "Monsturd." The plot revolves around a little girl telling a story (that aspect of the film is for some reason abandoned by the end of the film) about a mad man who creates zombies out of mentally challenged adults who for some reason are in a classroom like setting (this is never explained). The problem with the movie is that until about half way through, it's a movie about the police chasing a guy who masturbates in public. The movie as a whole falls short because of bad acting, bad camera work (it feels like the movie was shot on hand held digital cameras) and the nagging feeling that the film was written by a thirteen year old. Overall it was just boring.

Love,

   The B-Movie Guy.

#Bmovieblog #Retardead