Monday, July 30, 2012

Galaxy Of Terror (Beware The Giant Raping Worm!)

Score: 7 Out Of 10

             As much as I would love to sit hear and type a few paragraphs about how terrible this film was, I can not. In fact it was somewhat enjoyable. The special effects were not bad (although a tad bit out dated for 1981 standards), the acting was pretty good and it did help start the careers of both Bill Paxton and James Cameron (that last part being a good thing is arguable. For those of you who love trivia, Mr. Cameron was the art director and Mr. Paxton was the set dresser). "Galaxy of Terror" was directed by Bruce D. Clark and stars Edward Albert, Erin Moran and Ray Walston. By the way, keep an eye out for (70's exploitation star) Sid Haig, (Pre-Freddy Krueger) Robert Englund and (late night cable porn master) Zalmond King! I for one just find it so amazing that so many popular and talented (i feel the need to say popular and talented because I feel that not everybody mentioned fits into both categories.) people came together to make such a campy movie.

         The films plot focuses on a rescue crew that answers a distress beacon and are attacked by monsters. The problem with this film, besides ripping off several other sci-fi films (and rather blatantly, might I ad), is the pacing. I have said time and time again that pacing can ruin on otherwise damn good movie and this is a perfect example. There are so many moments where I felt glued to my television, but they are all broken up by long, drawn out, boring and sometimes pointless scenes (I actually feel like this movie could have been about twenty minutes). For that reason there were many moments where I found it hard to pay attention and that is why this film only gets a seven.

   The B-Movie Guy
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Monday, July 9, 2012

Howard the Duck (This Film Cost $36,000,000)

Score: 4 Out Of 10

           Let's just consider the title of this blog for a moment. This movie cost thirty six million dollars to produce. There are a lot of things you could do with thirty six million dollars. Example: I would fund a science project to make a half man half duck that would follow me around and drop one liners and that would be way more entertaining than this movie was. Now, just to give you some background, I vaguely remember watching this when was a small b-movie child but for the life of me could not remember a thing about it. When I saw it coming on HBO I thought, "Why not?" "Howard the Duck" was directed by Willard Huyk and stars Lea Thompson (who I have a new found admiration for after she nearly simulated a sex scene with a midget in a duck costume), Jeffrey Jones and Ed Gale.

                  Well if nothing else, now I remember 'why not.' It was boring, unfunny and suffered a serious personality crisis. The first half of the film is kind of a perverted comedy. Howard (he is the duck) walks around getting into trouble, making one liners and just generally being perverted. then the second half of the movie tries to become a sci-fi/action movie complete with chase scenes and mutant monsters. The really sad part is from what I'm told, this was Marvel's first attempt turning one of their comics into a full length feature film. BLECHHH!

   The B-Movie Guy

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