Sunday, September 25, 2011

Sex Galaxy! (Thank You, And Please Recycle The Boobs After Use)

Score: 8 Out Of 10
      Problem: I have a script that is pretty awesome and a cast that is ready to go, but I don't have enough money to actually bring in sets or cameras or lights or anything like that. What do I do? Solution: Get a bunch of public domain films, cut them all together and erase the original sound, then get my friends to record original dialogue. Believe it or not, it actually works quite well for this one.

           "Sex Galaxy" was written and directed by Mike Davis and stars Ben Phillips, Anthony Jenkins and Casey Robinson. I kid you not, this movie was hilarious. The film is mainly a retooling of the sci-fi classic "Voyage To The Planet Of Prehistoric Women." In that film a team of astronauts crash down on Venus to find scantily clad women an weird monsters. In this new movie, however, 100 years into Earth's future, sex has been outlawed to control the population and global warming has pretty much left the place a mess. So two astronauts team up to take their friend to, you guessed it, the Sex Galaxy so he can get laid at least once before he gets married.

          If you could mix "Mystery Science Theater 3000" with "Whats Up Tiger Lilly" and "American Pie," what you would get is "Sex Galaxy!" Don't let the name or the thirteen-year-old-boy-mentality behind the films premise fool you, this is one of the most entertaining films I've seen in a very long time. It has plenty of sci-fi cheesy-ness to it and is not afraid at all to make fun of it's self. The nudity in this film also comes from old public domain films and actually serves to the entertainment value of the film. It's fun to see where they cut in old stag films and to here the characters make raunchy jokes with really bad dub jobs. Don't let the name fool you, this is a true can't miss B-Film. If I had seen it a few months ago, it might very well be holding a spot on the bucket list!

    The B-Movie Guy.

#Bmovieblog #Sexgalaxy

Monday, September 19, 2011

Maniac (80' Slasher Perfection)

Score: 7 Out Of 10
           Hell-o B-Movie fans! First and foremost I must apologize for being a day late on this one. I was working on a bit yesterday with the wonderful people over at It was some of the most fun I've had in a while, and a big thank you to those guys for letting me participate. That being said, this week's film is the 1980 cult slasher film Maniac!

          This is film directed by William Lustig, and stars Joe Spinell, Caroline Munro and Abigail Clayton. The plot revolves around a grown man who's mother died while he was a child and now he feels compelled to go out at night and murder women (why does that sound so familiar... Ki, ki, ki ... Ah, ah, ah). Believe it or not, this one was actually pretty entertaining. It was very well paced and did not hold back on the gore at all. Keep a look out for a cameo appearance by legendary special effects artist Tom Savini, as well (he's the guy taking a shotgun blast to the face).
Fun Fact:  Rumor has it, the song "Maniac" was originally written for this film, but was left on the cutting room floor. Later it was rerecorded with different lyrics and used in the film "Flashdance."

              So, I have to give this film pretty high marks! It's definitely effective and very creepy. If your a real horror fan (or porn fan) you'll get a good kick out of some of the cameos and references to classic Italian horror films. I should also note that in contrast to some of this films contemporaries, the acting and dialogue is actually pretty good and really goes a long way to sell the action. Not a bad way to spend ninety minutes if you ask me.

  The B-Movie Guy.

          Allow me to tell you a story. I couldn't help but laugh a little to myself when I saw Tom Savini pop up in this film. The reason is because some years ago, The B-movie Wife, Myself and our friend Jason were making plans to go to a convention. This was going to be a particular big one for Jason and I. One of our favorite movies at the time was "Day of the Dead," and the man responsible for the special effects, Mr. Savini, was going to be in attendance signing autographs and answering questions. About an hour before the con, I called Jason to tell him I was on my way to pick him up. He informed me that his girlfriend, who apparently had bought season passes to Sea World, informed him that morning that they taking their son to see world that morning.

"Dude! We're talking about TOM SAVINI!"

"You think I don't know that?! She said I can't miss this. It's a chance to bond with my kid."

"You can do that tomorrow!"


           So fast forward about an hour, The Mrs. and I are at the hotel and walking towards the convention hall and she's asking me what I'd like to do first. I respond, "Well let's find an ATM, then we'll hi... OH HOLY CRAP THAT'S TOM SAVINI STANDING RIGHT OVER THERE!" He actually here's me say this and gives me a somewhat shocked look. Later in the day I collect myself and go over to his booth and apologize for my out burst and we spend a little time making polite conversation. Then I explain to him that my friend Jason was supposed to join us on this excursion but his girlfriend (not wife, girlfriend) pulled the leash and made him got to Sea World instead. At this Tom actually looks offended and repeats "Sea World?!" He then (no joke) took an 8x10 photo of himself and a sharpie and starts writing on it, signs it and hands it to me and says, "Make sure he gets this."

            I thanked him and walked away satisfied with meeting and having an experience with one of my childhood idols. Later I read the photo and it said, "Dear Jason, Sorry you're so pussy-whipped. Love, Tom." True story!

#Bmovieblog #Maniac #Tomsavini

Sunday, September 11, 2011

A Serbian Film (I'm Really Going To Hell For This One.)

            Score: Impossible to score.

              Every once in a long while a film comes along that touches us, inspires us and moves us. This is sure as hell not that film! This could be one of the most depraved and violent films I have ever watched, but oddly, I couldn't look away. The film was released (not in America) in 2010 and was directed and produced by Srdjan Spasojevic. It stars Srdjan Todorovic, Sergej Trifunovic and Jelena Gavrilovic. The plot revolves around a former porn star who is having money problems and agrees to do one more project to make money to support his family. He agrees to the film without any knowledge of what he will have to do and is consequently pushed to his limits.
                         I cannot in good conscience recommend this movie to anyone. That is not to say that I didn't enjoy the film, the honest truth is that I cannot decide if I liked it or hated it. On more than a few levels, this film actually offended me (and I'm a very difficult person to offend when it comes to movies), but there was a strong enough story that I kept telling myself "I have to see what happens to these people!" On top of that, this film features one of the best twist endings I've seen in a very long time (Must not spoil! Must not spoil!). On the other hand, like I said earlier, this IS one of the most depraved and violent films I have ever seen. This distinction reaches past the blog as well.
            By the end of the film, I saw rape, mutilation, drug use, pedophilia and necrophilia. Beyond that, what really makes this film horrific was that the actors and actresses were so good that I was buying into every single moment of it. In most of the gore and exploitation films I've seen, there is a comic element to it because of bad acting, bad dialogue and bad special effects. This movie suffered from none of those problems. It was one hundred percent believable from start to finish, and that is what makes it so unnerving.

 The B-Movie Guy.

A Serbian Film will be released in America on October 25th, 2011.

#Bmovieblog #Aserbianfilm

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Hell Night (Scary Retards!)

Score: 6 Out Of 10
            Hello, B-movie fans! This week I have a classic 80's horror flick for you. "Hell Night!" The story is one you've probably have heard before. Years ago a man murders most of his family in their home (Amityville?), fast forward to 1981 and some say that he and his "mongoloided" (one of the actors actually says that. Not my terminology, thanks.) may or may not still live somewhere in the house. Then some college kids come by and lock four of there friends inside telling them they'll come back for them at dawn. This film reminded me very much of such other haunted house flicks like "House On Haunted Hill(1959)" and "The Haunting(1963)."
                 "Hell Night" was directed by Todd DeSimone (you might recognize his name from the film "Reform School Girls." Another classic!) and stars Linda Blair, Vincent Van Patten and Peter Barton. Now before you guys write this one off as another 1980's cheep-ass horror flick, I should inform you that this is a 1980's cheep-ass horror flick with heart! Almost all the actors and actresses turn in pretty good and believable performances, the bad guys were effectively creepy and there were plenty of genuinely tense scenes, more than a few jump-out-scares and some really horrific moments. Another interesting thing to note about this film is that despite what most of the other horror films were doing in the 80's in terms of gore and nudity, there is almost no gore and no nudity in the entire film! This movie actually works very well as a psychological horror film because they don't show you much.

               The only thing that brings this movie down is it's pacing. There are a lot of really exciting scenes in this movie, but at the same time, there are at least 5 scenes where I found myself just getting bored. The film runs for about 101 mins. and afterward I felt like they could have cut this down to 85 or 90 mins.. But don't let that stop you, "Hell Night' is still pretty good if you're are willing to invest the time.

The B-Movie Guy.

#Bmovieblog #Hellnight