Monday, February 11, 2013

Sand Sharks (Like Jaws... But terrible.)

Score: 3 Out Of 10
            Do not let the picture to the left fool you, this movie is pretty bad. In fact, the shark you see here does not match any of the sharks shown in the movie at all. The sharks that are shown in the movie are these giant purple and blue monsters who look some what prehistoric, or at least that is what I think they were going for.  "Sand Sharks" was directed by Mark Atkins. It stars Corin Nemec, Brooke Hogan (yes, THAT Brooke Hogan) and Venessa Lee Evigan. The plot is as simple as it gets. A concert promoter and all around douche bag comes to a small California town (where his creepy dad is also the mayor and played by Edgar Allan Poe IV, who is a distant relative of the famed poet) to put on a concert to capitalize on spring break, but all the happenings are soon ruined by sharks who swim through and attack people via sand (and in one or two scenes water as well). There are some sub plots here but none of them are even worth mentioning.
            The problems with this film become apparent almost immediately. The acting is bad, the writing is just bl eh and there is so much CGI (Computer Generated Imagery) that at times I thought some of the party goers in the films climax were computer generated. I understand that for a film like this CGI just make sense, but it just looked so bad. It was almost like watching someone play a video game. Unfortunately the real loser in all this (besides the audience) is Brooke Hogan. After a less than successful music career this film is a big hint that acting might not work out as well. I get that her dad was a famous wrestler (if not the most famous wrestler) but maybe she should find a job outside of the entertainment industry

   The B-Movie Guy.
Twitter: @BMovieguy   #BMovieblog   #SandSharks

Monday, February 4, 2013

Bigfoot's Wild Weekend (If You Watch Only One Bigfoot Movie This Year...)

Score: 5 Out of 10
           If you have ever wished that beef jerky commercials had more nudity in them then I have the movie for you. It is that special kind of movie where my wife came in about thirty minutes in, said "This looks really stupid," and then left the room five minutes later. Bigfoot's Wild Weekend was directed by Jeff Murray who also co wrote the film with Dearborn Murray and Ryan Ramos (why did it take three people to write this film?). The plot is as good as you can expect from a film with this title. Bigfoot is on the loose (and apparently horny... and a little drunk) and is soon spotted by campers and a fisherman who report the "half man/half ape" to a tabloid paper who spends little time sending a less-than-confident reporter to cover the action. Soon after the local news and some redneck hunters are also chasing down are hairy protagonist. For the record, because I know why most of you read this blog, yes there is a fair amount of nudity throughout the first hour or so.
    So I'm not gonna try and bullshit you here, this movie was not really that good. It got a good couple of laughs out of me throughout, and it did hold my attention pretty well. On the other hand, there were more than a couple times when I caught actors or actresses looking at the camera (not counting a scene where one character breaks the fourth wall) and the sound quality changes quite a bit, sometimes once or twice in the same scene. But for a low budget comedy about a drunk and horny Bigfoot and some campers who seem a little too eager to take their clothes off, it could have been a lot worse. On a related note the director mentioned to me that he is working on another film this year and I will say that I am willing to watch another film Mr. Murray. I guess for five dollars, I got what I paid for.
    The B-Movie Guy.

Twitter: @BMovieguy   #Bmovieblog   #Bigfootswildweekend