Sunday, December 25, 2011

Vampegeddon (Low Budget Vampires)

Score: 3 Out Of 10
        Ever since the B-Movie Wife made me watch the first Twilight film I have felt a need to see a new movie featuring real vampires. I mean 100% blood drinking, soul stealing, flesh eating, sometimes seductive, undead monsters. Sadly, Vampegeddon does not fill that need. Vampegeddon was directed by Jeffrey Alen Miller and stars Josh Bingenheimer, Sugar Cox (I was actually surprised to find out she is NOT a porn star. I mean, her name is Sugar Cox.) and Shane Dean. I should have known better than to watch this one. The first thing I noticed about it is that it has a one star rating on Netflix. But for some reason I remained hopeful.

         When you think about it, this movie does have a lot  of elements I typically like. There is a a lot of blood, a ton of nudity and at an hour and fifteen minutes, I didn't wind up wasting that much time on it. The problems, unfortunately, start almost immediately for this movie. There may be a lot of blood, but the action scenes are few and far between. There is a lot of nudity, but the girls getting naked aren't really attractive. On top of that, the dialogue is terrible, the acting is worse and it sounds like every body's dialogue was recorded in post so what the timing of what the actors are saying doesn't often match the movement of there mouths. This is made worse by the fact that the original dialogue cuts in once in a while and it has so much ambient noise behind it that you can't understand what the person is saying.

      Overall, if I had to rate this movie on a scale of one to ten, one being Twilight and ten being Bela Lugosi's Dracula, I would have to say negative two. That's right. In hindsight, I would have rather watched Twilight over again had I known this movie sucked so bad. All the sex and violence in the world is nothing with out a good story to back it all up. Next time I think I'll heed the warning of a one star rating on Netflix.

   The B-Movie Guy.

Twitter: @BMovieguy   #bmovieblog    #vampegeddon

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Spider-Man! (Japanese)

       I know this has almost nothing to do with the subject of b-movies, with the exception of how cheesy and silly they are, but I thought I would share some Japanese television goodness with you guys. This is the first 2 episodes of the Japanese Spider-Man T.V. series. Enjoy!

Episode 1. Part 1.

Episode 1. Part 2.

Episode 2. Part 1.

Episode 2. Part 2.

I hope you guys enjoy. Aren't they just awesome?

The B-Movie Guy.

Twitter: @BMovieguy #bmovieblog #japanesespiderman

Monday, December 5, 2011

Invasion Of The Bee Girls (Bug Spray Won't Save Us)

           Score: 7 Out Of 10
         Hello, this week I'm focusing my attention on a piece of real 70's sci-fi awesomeness... Kinda. "Invasion Of The Bee Girls" (I wonder if it's possible to get a bunch of girls to dress as old bad movie stars who call themselves the B-Girls to follow me around) was released in 1973 and stars William Smith, Anitra Ford and Victoria Vetri. It was directed by Denis Sanders. The plot is pretty simples, One girl is some how turned into a girl with some bee genes in her (this just gives her really big pupils and a uncontrolable urge to mate and kill) and she somehow builds a machine to transform other girls who mate and kill uncontrolably. It's not long before men start dying during intercourse and bodies start popping up all over town. By the way, the 'hows' and 'whys' are never fully explained. The characters just keep hinting at various explenations.

              I am a man. A man who watches bad movies. I argue all the time that bad special effects and sub-par acting should be ignored as long as there is a good story bee-hind it all (Ha, see what I did there!), but this film doesn't even have the good story to back it up. What this movie does have is so much nudity it's almost rediculous. I'm not kidding. There are two nude scenes with in the first fifteen minutes of the movie. There are a pair of boobs in almost every other scene. Now that doesn't make for a good movie mind you, but I have to admit that the over abundance of boobies coupled with a silly plot does make for a pretty entertaing ninety minutes. I'm not going on record and say it's an amazing film, but for what it is it's not that bad.

       The B-Movie Guy.

Twitter: @BMovieguy     #Bmovieblog   #Invasionofthebeegirls


       I always find it odd how some of the older horror and sci-fi film have this odd kind of sexuality behind tham. Alot of them feature monsters falling in love with or lusting after attractive and helpless women. While I was watching the movie my mind kept flashing back to that concept. I just thought it was interesting to note that this time around it was female monsters taking advantage of men who display helplessness in the sense of letting lust get the better of them. Interesting.