Beginning of the End (The Cutest Invasion Ever...)

Score: 5 Out Of 10

          I know I am going to be in the minority for saying this, and I never noticed this until I watched this movie, but grasshoppers are fucking adorable! I mean the poster to the left makes them look all kinds of menacing but once I saw them my heart just melted. "Beginning Of The End (1957)" was directed by Bert I. Gordon and stars Peter Graves, Peggie Castle and Morris Ankrum. The movie is about giant grasshoppers attacking Chicago. That's it. This movie is what people call "good bad." It was made in the 1950's when giant monster movies (especially giant bug movies) were all the rage and people were worried about atomic warfare (yes, that does come up in this film). The problem primarily is that the bulk of the action occurs off screen. A lot of early horror and sci-fi films used this technique but they used it to build suspense so when you did finally see the monster it was a real shock. Unfortunately (even by 1950's standards) the special effects are pretty bad so the big reveal just felt more silly than anything.

          The acting is pretty lame (obviously) and highlighted by the special effects not meshing well with the actors. Soldiers firing their guns in the opposite direction as the grasshoppers is just one of many shots where the film seems more like a comedy than a horror film (it was featured in an episode of MST3K, by the way). But despite all the bad acting, writing, special effects, directing and cinematography, there is just something lovable about this movie. Maybe it is just my own love for giant monster movies or maybe it is that I all of a sudden find myself thinking grass hoppers are really cute. Either way, I can honestly say that I enjoyed this movie and would actually watch it again.

Love,

   The B-Movie Guy

Twitter: @BMovieguy

Kiss of the Damned (A Vampire Film That Doesn't Suck!)

Score: 8 Out Of 10

           Whenever someone begins to tell me about what they describe as an "artistic" vampire film my eyes role (they did just now while i was typing that sentence). Memories of shitty Anne Rice films flash across my mind and I am annoyed with a film long before I even watch it. So you can imagine my mind set when a friend ranted to me about how good "Kiss of the Damned" is. "Kiss of the Damned (2013)" was directed by Xan Cassavetes and stars Josephine de la Baume, Milo Ventimiglia and Roxanne Mesquida. The story tells of a vampire woman that falls in love with a mortal man. She changes him into a vampire and they live blissfully until the woman's sister shows up and starts causing trouble for the whole vampire community. So let me just say that I was wrong. I judged this movie way too early and regret putting off watching it for so long because it did really turn out to be a goody. It was well acted, well written and well directed. The dialogue was very good as well. I really enjoyed the scene where a group of vampires sit around after a party and discuss vampire politics and their over all role in the world.

       The aspect of this film that I enjoyed the most was the story. The film does such a good job of building the characters and presenting them with a challenge that I genuinely cared about our vampire couple and really wanted them to have a happy ending. It is very rare for me to watch a movie about vampires and actually see them as anything more than just monster movie stereotypes. All in all, "Kiss" a good film made in the same vein as the 1960's European vampire films that I loved so much. There is blood, sex and cool imagery and a really cool story to tie it all together. It is definitely worth your time and money.

Love, 

   The B-Movie Guy

Twitter: @BMovieguy

Dracula's Widow (So Much Potential...)

Score: 5 Out Of 10

          I cannot at all make up my mind over whether or not I liked this movie. There was a lot to love but at the same time there was a lot to hate. It really seems like for every one thing I like about this movie there was at least one thing that left me groaning. "Dracula's Widow" was directed by Christopher Coppola and stars Sylvia Kristel, Josef Sommer and Lenny Von Dohlen. The story is that Dracula's Widow, Venessa, who is not convinced her husband is dead, is shipped to Hollywood as a wax figure. She then uses her vampy magic to seduce the wax museums owner and begins hatching a scheme to get back to Transylvania to find her husband. Now, before you make fun of the plot, let me say that the plot is one of the elements of this film that I really liked. Any thing involving Count Dracula should be a love story. As evil as the original vampire might be, his motivations in all the best Dracula stories and movies is that of a hopeless romantic. We may despise (or love, if your that kind of person) his methods, but love is what is at his core.

         So in all honesty, it is easy for me to buy in to the idea that Dracula would have married, then died and left behind a love sick widow. That being said, the writing is pretty good, but the delivery  is terrible. Specifically on the part of Sylvia Kristel. She is just so flat and almost monotone. Even in monster mode she comes across like she is just bored. In the same vein, the creature effects and other special effects (gore) are pretty well done, but you see too much of the effects and in way too much light, which is really a metaphor for the rest of the film. Good idea, just poor execution.

Love,

   The B-Movie Guy

Twitter: @BMovieGuy