Monday, June 25, 2012

Nude Nuns With Big Guns (Not As Cool As You Would Think)

Score: 3 Out Of 10
                 I honestly have nothing nice to say about this movie. The only reason it even scored a three out of ten is because I did not feel this film was as bad as some other films I have reviewed. "Nude Nuns" was written and directed by Joseph Guzman and it stars Asun Ortega, David Castro and Perry D'Marco. From beginning to end it was nothing more than a pure shitfest. To be fair the film did have it's share of nude nuns and some pretty big guns, but beyond that it offers very little. The plot is as basic as can be (a nun kills people because god wants her to get revenge for a slaughtered convent), the dialogue is terrible, the acting is all over the place (as soon as somebody starts to give a good performance they immediately do something to ruin it) and the movie as a whole is largely ripped off from almost every film ever mad by Robert Rodriguez.

         I'm not kidding. The worst is during the opening credits. I am ninety nine percent sure that was theme from "Planet Terror" playing. It is almost as if some studio bought a script and could not get Rodriguez to direct so they got Guzman (who by the way also directed "Run! Bitch, Run!"). In short I can not recommend you watch this film unless you are very drunk or need something to just make you feel angry for having wasted your time. You should be ashamed, Mr. Guzman.

   The B-Movie Guy.

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