Monday, July 22, 2013

Spiders 3D (Computer Generated Creepiness)

    Score: 2 Out Of 10.

              Normally, I am all over giant bug movies. I once sat in a theater and watched "Eight Legged Freaks (2002)" on a date and the girl I was with got so freaked out by the movie and apparently how amused by it I was that we never had a second date. But even that kinda-amusing-but-still-sucked movie was better than "Spiders 3D." "Spiders" was directed by Tibor Takacs (I still can't figure out how to use accents on Blogger). It stars William Hope, Shelly Varod and Jesse Steel.  The film is about a Russian space station inhabited by mutant spiders. A piece of the station breaks off after being hit by a comet and crashes into a New York city subway station where they begin to grow to monstrous size and run amok over the city. This movie, and I am in no way exaggerating, is the most boring movie I have ever seen in my entire life.

        No joke, this movie was so boring I actually started to dose off a little bit while writing the first paragraph. What is distressing about this is that movie is actually pretty well paced. I mean, there is well placed action through out but the problem is that even the action is just kind of boring. To add to the problem, both the characters and the plot are one hundred percent non-nonsensical. One character dies and the man who is supposed to be a close friend does not seem grief stricken at all. He just goes on doing his job. Also, all of the spiders in the film are computer generated. would it have killed them to make spider puppets and maybe some real spiders for the scenes before they start growing and use the CGI a bit more sparingly. You know, just to make things seem a little more real?

   The B-Movie Guy
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